$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Naked. naked and bneed help.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
