So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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