i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
