DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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