its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize