did you get engaged???
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
