Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
