Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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