she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She's the barista slut.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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