i love accidental penises.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
