theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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