I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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