It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can I color on your dick again?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
