Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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