Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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