So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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