i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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