suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
