Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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