in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
