The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
