I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
