there's paper in my vomit.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
