Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
