Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
