That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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