So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
pop tarts are not kleenex
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
