Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize