So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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