I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
