I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
