you traded sex for a burrito?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
