his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
