I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No I am not eating basil off your cock
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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