hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
