Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
