Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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