so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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