I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
