i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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