i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize