I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
