so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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