there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
