You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize