what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
