i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
