I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
