The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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