Welp...herpes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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