Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
