Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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