I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
