chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
