Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize