I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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