So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
