I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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