My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize