exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
