Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
